Dual....:-)
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
