am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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