FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
