You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
