fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
