That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
