I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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