Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
