I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
