I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
