So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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