Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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