Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
