rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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