Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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