oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
