You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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