considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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