I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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