hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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