I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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