The maid of honor just puked.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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