Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
