You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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