super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize