At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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