Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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