She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
