summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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