Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
