I have demons in me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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