I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
