An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
