I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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