If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
