We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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