it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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