I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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