So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
