She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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