Already got asked if we're dating
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
