I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
