my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
