You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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