I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
