there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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