So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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