I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
