So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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