I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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