dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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