i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
