She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
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karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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