thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
