Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
