How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
