I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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