you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
