Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
