i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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