sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
