dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
